Reflection (Going Slowly)

Ever since I can remember, I have always been worried about "falling behind" my friends and my peers. Always worried that I needed to keep pushing to go faster, I believed (and sometimes still do) that I needed to accomplish everything before everyone else did. Now, at an age where college graduation is steadily approaching, I have begun to worry about the future. I truly would love to attend graduate school this fall and have submitted an application for a program that I believe suits my needs and interest, however, I can only wait and see whether or not I will be accepted. I have been trying to think of the likely scenario that I will not get accepted this year, which in the beginning was very difficult. Not only would it be a rejection, but I would be falling behind. My peers would be going to grad school and here I would be left behind and, in many ways, I would feel like a failure. 

However, the more I thought about it and talked with my siblings and friends, the more I realized that I have been looking at it all wrong. Lots of individuals (especially in the program I am interested in) attend graduate school in later in life and they are in no way failures. Therefore, why would I consider myself a failure for taking time before pursuing grad school? In school, there was always the mentality of needing to be first and of performing better than everyone else, which made it difficult to just enjoy life. After my time in Japan, away from the stressful environment of the American education system, I have begun to realize how important it is to just enjoy this time in college. Taking the time to just breathe has shown its effects in my grades and has allowed me to form better relationships with other individuals. I think a lot of my difficulty with going slow has been due to this mental schedule of my life that I have created, such as "married at so-and-so age," "own a house at so-and-so age," and et cetera. I keep rushing towards this timeline I have constructed, without really thinking about why I am do so and what effects it has.

One aspect of CLP that I truly enjoy is how members truly enjoy taking the time to just talk and discuss about a wide variety of subjects. When we work, we work hard, but we also realize how stressful it can be always pushing forward without taking the time to just soak it all in. I think the weekly intern meetings help us all stay grounded and connected to one another, even when our personal and school lives head in different directions.

Instead of just rushing because I am fearful of being left behind, I am hoping to better enjoy life, its experiences, and the amazing people I meet. A place I enjoy being is at the airport because it is a location where you cross paths with people not only from different walks of life, but different countries. I love just sitting and watching everyone pass by as I realize how amazing it is to have these brief second relationships with these people. We may be hurrying to different places in our lives, but it is nice to take the time to actually look at people and to connect for that brief second. I am only one out of a billion plus individuals on this planet and it is a shame that I never spend the time to just look at people. Instead of rushing, maybe I should take the time to just look and observe. At the end of the day, I will still accomplish what I set out to do and will not be any less of a successful person for slowing down to enjoy life.

Communication

One thing I learned from the CLP international teleconference is how important communication is when working within an organization and with others. My biggest fault has been relying heavily on Sam and Rachel to deal with setting up dates and times with events, without ever verifying that everything has been prepared. One of the issues that came up was confusion about the teleconference and the parent night orientation, which some had believed to be the same thing. This lead to the parent night (originally scheduled for January 18) being canceled, as we had to work with the school to have the orientation on campus. For the most part, I think everyone realized how much better we need to be about communication, with one another and the people that we work with (especially at Norte Vista).

In many respects, my work within CLP has mostly involved the other interns and Sam/Rachel, meaning that I barely know the other members of CLP beyond their names and faces. A lot of this is due to the fact that I rarely see these individuals, other than at CLP events which makes it difficult to leisurely talk and hang out as we are busy. I see the CLP interns and Sam usually once a week, which means that I feel closer to them and more comfortable working with them. However, CLP is an organization whose work depends on collaboration and group efforts, meaning that I need to get better at working with everyone. This is something I have set myself to being better at, especially in the next few months as we get into the heart of SU2I training and fundraising. 

CLP at Norte Vista International Teleconference

On January 13, 2011, CLP held an international teleconference on the Norte Vista High School Campus. For the most part, I think that the event succeeded immensely and that we all learned a lot from the event.

The event was originally scheduled for January 10th, but due to some issues with the school and finding a space on campus to host our event, it was pushed back several days. For the most part, the schedule change helped us as we were better able to prepare and gave us a chance to breathe a bit.

The interns came up with this schedule, one that we thought would be the most efficient and helpful for the parents and students who showed up.

6:00 PM: We arrive at NoVi to set up and make sure everything is working well.
~ Hand out questions cards to people as they arrive
~ Pick up the cards and sort through them. Select the questions we will be asking Sam.
6:30 PM: Brief SU2I information session by Serkadis and I.
7:00 PM: Start the teleconference with Sam (with Serkadis reading the questions, Gilbert/Karla translating).
8:00 PM: Wrap-up begins.
8:30 PM: Clean up and we're finished!

Since Sam was in India during the planning, we (the intern team) did our best with planning and trying to think about any issues that would come up. We knew who could make it, what their roles were, what the plan was, and how we wanted to execute it. Sam and I Skyped the night before to ensure that there would be no problems connecting to one another, testing out the sound and video quality. Overall, we felt satisfied with our preparation and I felt that we had planned as well as possible, given the time limits.

However, nothing ever goes according to plan and that was something we truly learned that night. First, when I arrived at NoVi, I was told that my computer (a Macbook) would not work because the adapter would not work with it. Therefore, we switched to Sara's computer (that she brought as a backup in case there were problems with my computer), which did not have a webcam. This meant that we would be able to see Sam and everyone else in India, but that they would not be able to see us. We had not prepared for this possibility and, to be truthful, I started freaking out a bit. This was also augmented by the fact that there was some confusion about the purpose of teleconference. There was apparently some miscommunication about how there was a teleconference and a separate parent night (for SU2I information), which showed the lack of communication that had occurred.

Even though we had planned it all out, the technical problems became first in our minds and we abandoned the schedule as we began worrying more and more. In hindsight, I should have been better about trying to keep the event on schedule, despite any slight hiccups, as it left the youth and parents feeling as though we had no clue what we were doing. Thankfully, a parent was able to assist us in fixing the problems and we were able to start the teleconference, albeit later than we had planned.

Not surprisingly, the youth had a hard time at first asking questions, which was expected. However, after we had the youth introduce themselves to the webcam, many seemed to slowly open up. By the end, we had students who were eagerly answering question posed by the partners in India and we were forced to stopped due to time running out. It was amazing seeing how excited they all were, as it the reality of the program and SU2I became more apparent to them. These were the people that they would be meeting if they became part of SU2I. Another great aspect was being able to see how supportive the parents were, as they spoke of how glad they were that their children were involved in CLP. It felt amazing knowing that the youth and their parents believe in what we are doing, which makes all of the work truly worth it. While we were cleaning up, I was able to talk with a few of the students and they seemed excited about CLP and SU2I, especially with July looming closer and closer. Overall, the event was a success because it made everyone, including me, much more excited about the reality that we are going to India in a few months. It is going to be an amazing and difficult few months, but I feel ready for the challenge with the CLP team and the NoVi youth and families.

Five Goals/Resolutions for 2011

1) Get myself to India, which means coming up with SU2I trainings and preparation for the next six months, as well as working with the entire CLP team to accomplish everything we have set ourselves up to do.

2) Fundraise, fundraise, fundraise. Learn how to put on a successful event, how to promote it, how to get people interested in what we do, and how to send the NoVi youth to India without them worrying about financial issues.

3) Possibly complete an Upper Division Honors Project relating to my CLP internship. It would be an amazing opportunity to be able to do research that deals with my experiences with CLP, especially since I would like to work with non-profits in the future.

4) Relearn Chinese. It has been years since I have practiced or used my Mandarin, but I hope to re-familiarize myself within the next twelve months. I would truly love to be able to speak fluently someday, with the hopes of traveling around China in a few years.

5) Think about the future. As in, if I do not go to graduate school, what do I want to do? Where do I see myself in after graduation?

(Overdue from an intern meeting earlier in the month.)