Grit

Though I do believe that intelligence is not the only factor in helping to gauge future achievements or success, I also believe that grit is only a small factor as well. In this society, we are taught to believe that if we "give up" that we have failed because everyone is supposed to "stick through it." However, one thing I have been learning, especially with my time with CLP, that this mindset can prove to be detrimental. There is nothing wrong with stepping back and realizing that, sometimes, things just are not meant to work out. Sure, it is possible to grin and bear it, but that usually leads to a loss of happiness. I admit that I can sometimes be stubborn and unyielding, especially when it comes to the work I do. However, that has lead me astray at time because I have not been able to let go when needed, which would have been good for me and others involved. For me, "grit" can be divided into "stubbornness" and "perseverance," both which have different connotations.

"Stubbornness," to me, is about refusing to accept reality or the facts, even when it is needed. We are stubborn because we do not want to lose face, be seen as failures or losers, or just want to be stubborn for no real reason. "Perseverance," on the other hand, is about sticking through the hard times because it is the best decision for you (or the individuals involved) and is not about the fear of "giving up." Growing up, I always believed that if I started something, I had to finish it no matter what. What I know realize is that the final goals are not what is most important, but rather completing these goals and going through the process in a genuine and sincere manner.

Growing Pains and Gains (Reflection)

In my time as an intern, I feel like I have grown and learned so much, due especially to the fact that I am surrounded by amazing individuals on all sides. We may come from different backgrounds and have different long-term goals, but, at the end of the day, we are all striving to learn about ourselves and our communities. Last Tuesday's meeting was difficult for everyone because it included a lot of things that needed to have been said long ago. For me personally, sometimes when I let an issue boil inside without any release, it grows into something ugly. That ugly thing is just a manifestation of my various emotions (anger, fatigue, disappointment, etc), but it is not necessarily how I truly feel. I am glad that we are now at a point where we are on similar pages once again because we have all been drifting off in a multitude of ways.

Things I have learned:
 

1) The need to be more than just work in our relationships

It is not only about the work we do that I should be concerned about, but rather sincere relationships that I have formed with my fellow interns and CLP members.

2) If you have something to say, just say it

We are all adults with our own lives, which everyone understands. Yet, to work together as a group, we need to be honest with one another. Holding back issues or problems usually cause discontent to grow over time. I need to be better about accepting my faults and my flaws.
 

3) It's okay to take a step back and re-prioritize

If it comes to the point that I am no longer happy with the work I am doing, I need to fix it,

My re-commitments:

My commitment to CLP is to step it up and become as involved as I can be for the next three months or so (~mid-August 2011) until I start graduate school. My hope is to assist with more work (beyond SU2I) and, possibly, administrative work if needed. Overall, I am committed to staying as involved with CLP as I currently am, until I am no longer living in Riverside. I am, if all goes well, also committed to going to India with the youth, fulfilling around nine months of work as a CLP intern.